Thursday, May 3, 2012

From the Inside Out



I don't know if you've heard this song, but I LOVE IT.  It’s called The Inside Out.



I think that the lyrics speak my heart about where I am in this journey that I'm on.  Here are the lyrics with my thoughts in blue.

1,000 times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame
I've failed at living a healthy lifestyle in the past, and I'm sure that I'll have slip-ups in the future.  However, His mercy remains and He loves me no matter what I weigh, look like, or even how healthy I am.  When I'm tempted to walk this journey because I want to fit in to what the world says is beautiful, I can trust that He is everlasting and will not fail me.  This world and what it says is important and holds value is only temporary.  I am living for Him and His glory is what matters, not my own.

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing you praise
Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame
He commands me to put Him first and make Him top priority.  I am to lay down my life (and my desire for laziness and food) and follow Him obediently so that He can work in me and through me.  When I am made less and he is made much of, He receives glory and I am bringing him praise in my obedience.


My heart and my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
I have to give Him control and surrender completely and daily.  It is not my desire to have a smokin' hot body, but to truly be changed on the inside.  I need Him to consume me so that I seek Him above food.  The changes on the outside are only a reflection of the inner changes.


Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
I want to truly walk this journey because I love Him completely, not because I'm seeking acceptance or love from others.  I don't want to embrace the praise of others, but only the praise of One, and praise and glorify Him in my obedience.

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out 
oh My soul cries out

My heart and my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame



Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A New Craving

I had my 3 month follow up appointment on March 29th where I weighed in at 200 (-48).  I've come a long way in a short time!  The best news of all.  My A1C was 5.8 ('normal' is 6)!  My blood sugars have been under 140 for a while now and Dr. Newton reduced my Metformin to 2 pills instead of 4 and stopped the cholesterol medication that I was taking.  That was a big blessing as the Metformin pills are huge and I hate taking medicine!  If I can keep my A1C below 6 and my blood sugar (after eating) below 140, I'm hoping to come off all medication by my next appointment on June 29th!  Since my last appointment a month ago I've lost an additional 6 pounds and am officially in the one hundreds.

Before beginning this journey to better health I was always craving unhealthy foods: ice cream, chocolate, cupcakes, french fries, chips.  I have eaten none of those things in the last 5 months and honestly don't miss them, and don't crave them. I've even had all kinds of chocolate in the candy bowl on my desk at work and haven't even thought about eating just one.  Thank you Jesus for setting me free!  I do however have a new craving of sorts. A very strange and weird craving...for me at least.  I'm actually craving exercise!  I know, crazy!  I'm enjoying Zumba class at the YMCA and even a Tabata class at Anytime Fitness (which is painful and HARD!!! Think P90X)  I'm also actually using the elliptical.  My personal best in 3.1 miles in 26:45.  I always thought that the elliptical was harder, but after running at 5.0 for 5 min with Nicole today I was wrong.  That 5 min was hard, but I did it.  I need to start using the treadmill to work up my endurance.  I really need to start running outside, but don't crave that yet!  I'm doing the Peachtree Road Race 10K in July and would like to at least be able to run a couple of miles of it.  I need to suck it up and 'train'.  I've exercised 6 days a week for the last 2 weeks, and don't like missing that one day.  That is a miracle for me!

I still struggle with consistent weight loss.  It seems like I lose 2 pounds one week and then gain .2 the next.  However, although I do weigh every morning, I'm learning that the scale does not define me.  My worth is not found in my weight.  My goal is not to see a number on the scale, but to live a healthy and full life.  My goal is to eat healthy, stay away from refined sugar, and exercise regularly...for my entire life.  I'm doing that.  While I may not be a size 6 and weigh 125 pounds.  I'm on the road to living a healthy life, I am succeeding!